Cosmic Coupling: The Sextrology of Relationships

The Sextrology of Relationships

The authors who redefined the world of astrology with "Sextrology" are back with an equally brazen, savvy, and witty guide that profiles every possible relationship pairing of the zodiac signs--gay and straight--focusing on each couple's chemistry and compatibility.
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    The Ultimate


    A rare pairing: Sparks fly here, creating a combustive clash, an urgent sexual attraction, or both. The sign's ruler, Mars, governs aggression and overt sexual drive. So, while Aries man is as directive as the planet's phallic symbol suggests—a human hard-on, if you will—Aries woman seeks to get a rise from a mate, if not have him firmly by the balls. Mars signals the Masculine Principle, making the Ram guy more a he-man than any other. For her, the planet incites a signature attraction to super-macho types. Few are man enough for this female connoisseur of the testosterone set. Compared to her, most males pale into pansies. She revels in butch company, dismissing guys with accessed feminine sides (along with most women) as feeble and fatuous. Aries guy fits her brutish bill, but there's a snag: He seeks to transcend his bestial impulses because they make him feel base. As such, he puts on the valiant veneer of a shining knight. But she is no damsel in distress, her trademark lamby looks deceiving. And just as he seeks to woo a lady fair, she refuses to stand on ceremony, especially when it comes to sex. He must put up and shut up. She sees right through his Clark Kent routine to the manhood of steel he conceals. No kid gloves: She expects male Ram to live up to that name.


    Aries man can be a premier chauvinist. Not only is he oft turned off (read: threatened) by a female aggressor, he may find her cavalier sexual attitude suspect if not slaggish. He is the zodiac's Adam, the model-A man, just as she is the primordial female, like Adam's first wife, Lilith, who preferred it on top, being no compliant Eve. Aries affect each other's 1st house of individuation, separate identities and a need to exert swollen egos. No same-sign pairing is potentially so at odds, selfishness being a trait they share. Thus this bond often ends just as it begins. Though not before offering the most athletic sex imaginable. Aries is the physical sign. And confronted with so blatantly wanton a woman, he may unapologetically release the beast, without pretense of ever even phoning again. Fine by her. It therefore takes a self-realized Ram man to forge a relationship with the male-objectifying Ewe. It means forgoing the bulk of his valiant visions, embracing the primal primate he truly is. She, too, might bend her rules, letting him open doors and pull out chairs for her. She'll see it as servitude. When this coupling works, congratulations are in order. It means neither is reliant on oppressing the other for their own self-aggrandizement—something she does by cuckolding a mate she finds lacking. Man-izing is her stock and trade. And the slightest whiff of manlier meat on the market can send her out to survey the livestock. Fortunately, no guy is more equipped than he to keep that from happening, as he must accept the role he was born to play: that of sexual crusader. He need know, or be led to believe, that he's calling the shots, lest he feel emasculated. In all other areas, she wears the pants, the bedroom being the only place she'll want to be bested.


    This is where his knight-errant tenacity finds practical use, as quenching her unslakeable fire is an eternal quest. No couple is in as perpetual a state of heat as these two. Their mutual lust is palpable. In their company, other couples can feel sexless, diminished. And don't think the Aries don't know it. Together, they are far more assertive than when solo. Just as they're wont to beat rivals on the tennis court, they'll also boast superiority in the sack. Swagger on that subject is intended to shrink another man's ego and shock a woman's sensibilities, if not pique her interest. Aries man will brag of his lady's insatiability. Aries woman will let slip it takes a superman to satisfy her. He might reveal she's an exhibitionist with a penchant for public places, or that she's so boisterous the neighbors have taken to wearing earplugs. He'll leak some tidbits about himself, too: his uncannily quick refraction period, the fact he's physically fit enough to pin her—she loves to wrestle—or the boon of being skilled at dirty talk, which fuels her passion to self-satisfy for his viewing pleasure, which, he'll omit, she does during sex, in any case (she won't solely rely on his usual missionary positioning to pop her cork). Indeed, both Aries are mainly in it for their own gain, any gratification they provide each other being a by-product of scratching personal itches. Sex isn't to be savored, it's a full-throttle ride to completion. And an element of force comes to define much of their routine—he assumes the role of invader, she gleefully fights back. He will want her to play passive, even pushing an anal agenda. But she's not so inclined. And they're not overly oral, bidding the other to oblige with varying success. Even then, neither lies back and just enjoys it; rather, they bump, grind, and otherwise direct the proceedings. For even their receptive acts can read as aggressive. And just as their aesthetic taste is devoid of ornate flourishes, so, too, is their sex life free of frilly lingerie, mood lighting, or silky sheets. She would sooner do it on the floor in the brash glare of day. Of course, his dimestore-novel lusting for a compliant powder puff of a woman may develop into a roving eye, but she's got one, too. And not just for hunky men: Aries woman is fairly bisexual by nature, often sharing Aries male's penchant for overpowering a femmy female. Think of it as just another sport they excel at together, their combined sexual power packing a punch a third party won't soon forget. Oftentimes, they are unsentimental enough toward each other to support an outright swingle lifestyle. This allows them the opportunity to compete with other couples in a viable sexual arena where their shared prowess needn't be left to the imagination, but rather hit with a spotlight for all to envy. To boot, this provides extracurricular possibilities without that pesky adultery rap.


    The Unspoken


    Aries men tend to gather in herds, attracted to the ubermasculinity their sex sign exudes. And they do so most often as friends, rather than as potential lovers. But nothing is out of the question in the Aries' mind. There is a tacit understanding that a one-off or regular rodgering between buddies won't stand in the way of lasting comradeship. Aries men are in no way precious, and they revel in the fact that emotion has zilch to do with their bond. Attraction is physical, and even their platonic relationships smack of it. They thrive on each other's brute power, fetishizing all things male whilst eschewing the more fey aspects of gay life. There is a spartan quality here. Like two soldiers—a nod to their Mars rule—they share an ascetic aesthetic, steering clear of metaphorically civilian life.


    To Aries, conformity is for pussies, and they're drawn to each other's in-your-face attitude. They don't so much fuse as coexist, each expressing his individual rant in one-sided diatribes with no need for interaction, let alone approval. So, there may be a dearth of depth here. Like a stereotypical straight male bond, these guys don't analyze or deal in feelings. The pitfall is competitiveness, due to a shared need to be in charge. The most common lasting gay male Aries bond is one in which there is a significant age difference. Here, older Aries holds all the cards, the younger deferring to his wishes. Both are conscious of this dynamic, the more callow Aries modeling himself on his mentor. A father-son element allows the bond to endure while Aries of the same age often butt heads if having to cope with deeper partnership issues and joint decision making. Thus it rarely lasts forever.


    Aries man-to-man sex is a straightforward affair. Without the aforementioned age difference, Rams tend to struggle for dominance. This sign counts the least number of bottoms in their order. And as it is Aries' main goal to bend a guy over, and roughly at that, most Aries can't, or won't, accommodate the other's needs. A younger Aries may play catcher, but will seek out other butch bottoms to compensate for his own dominant desires. A bit of wrestling is de rigueur. And sports kit, military gear, and some leather may enter into the mix. Inevitably, this pair will seek out passive third parties to tag team and thereby supplement their oral diet—neither is inclined to be all too giving on that score. Their sex life has little nuance. It's mainly predicated on penetration, and a lot of it. Muscles and body hair are huge turn-ons. No smooth, sensual twinks wanted. In fact, it's all very Fight Club: These warriors scarcely conceal their butch sexuality behind their sharpest business suits.


    The Urge


    At first they clash, each projecting derision onto the other—for being difficult, histrionic, bratty. Still, these Valkyries are galvanized by the other's blatant display of ego and overt sexuality, surfacing, initially, as signature aggression. Even two straight Aries feel a pheromonic tug here, which may result in a fleeting fling. They rile each other, neither able to fully wield alpha status. Typically, Aries woman must mask her foremost agenda—sex—negotiating the inherent emotionality of most lesbian bonds. Here, no. And once she figures out this fact, she finds herself staring down the barrel of her prurient counterpart's lust for her. Love is generally not in the initial offing. And it is the prospect of unfettered fun that is its own -self--propelled impetus for the pairing.


    Aries can easily have sex at the top of the first date, neither girl banking upon it going any further. A pleasant surprise, then, as it often does. And for all her objectifying Mars energy, Aries looks to be the love-toy in this bond. Both seeking this, they play coy, the pairing, by its very existence, softening these usually hardened players. Empathy makes them tolerant of trademark brusqueness and ego flexing. And they enjoy healthy detachment in a bond that fosters fidelity which, let's face it, isn't typically Aries' strong suit. But this bond is all or nothing. They may work together, sharing as many aspects of life as possible. Ram women demand busloads of attention, which might preclude giving considered focus to a lover. So they look for validation from fawning friendships and flirtations. Aries revel in each other's tales of such come-ons, fostering a mythos of most desirable couple.


    Given their prolific natures, Aries must beware of inciting surplus jealousy since altercations on that score can get ugly. The Ram probably needs more sex than any other female on the astrological block. She is the queen of the quickies. And together, these two have it off like rabbits. Daily orgasms are de rigueur, even if via a tactile flicking or other such perfunctory contact on off-nights between full-on interaction. Hunger characterizes their intimacy; and they are equally wanting of both deepest penetration and taking on the task of aggressor, strapping on the required equipment to do just that. They are forever flipping, often many times in the course of a single session. There is little role-play, neither feeling a compulsion to take the part of femme. Rather, the bond will always sexually smack of two sporty schoolgirls roughly having it off. The least affectionate of lasses, even their kisses can leave scars. They're especially nondemonstrative in public, others assuming they're just galpals.


    The Classic


    This couple looks great on paper. He is the ubermasculine Adam archetype; she, the lady Eve, personifies femininity. He is drawn to what appears to be her pleasant, passive disposition. She prizes his signature aggression, which may've been lacking in her father figure. Longing to be swept off her feet, Taurus hopes the Aries knight, chivalrous and chauvinistic in equal measure, will treat her like a princess in public and a putana in bed. Aries, meanwhile, falls for her nymphy innocence, a snow white veneer that belies a namesake brand of sexual mania. Opposites attracting, the bantam-bodied, square-shouldered, stubbly Aries and the soft-skinned, doll-faced Taurus girly-girl prove the theory that men are from Mars and women, from Venus, their respective ruling planets. The fixed-earth sign, Taurus, is a metaphorical garden, demanding appreciation and, indeed, cultivation from a partner—for the premier material girl, this typically requires hard, cold cash. Of any sign, Taurus prizes a hefty bankroll and assumes the go-getting Aries shares her view. But his ambitions aren't always financially motivated, and he may find her trademark attachment to possessions a tad shallow. In turn, she labels his signature lofty pursuits the stuff of which pipe dreams are made.


    Taurus kindles Aries' astrological 2nd house, that of literal and figurative substance; so, through her, he learns to value and foster assets, whether intrinsic abilities or external trappings. She teaches him that money isn't the root of any evil, but rather a commodity to be valued, like time and talent. Aries stokes Taurus's cosmic 12th house, that of nonmaterial, "spiritual," even magical experience. His blind faith in his dreams (which brings about their manifestation) shows her how a singularity of purpose can create its own reality, creature comforts notwithstanding. But it takes time for such wisdom to be exchanged. Meanwhile, her need for financial security may weigh upon him; and she verbalizes her fears, perhaps too heavy-handedly, managing the business of their bond. Eventually, though, it works like a charm: Taurus grounds and monetizes Aries' self-starting enterprises; and he eases her out of defeatism (she calls it practicality), proving time and again the power of his cardinal-fire nature, forever sparked as it is by inspiration. Even when enjoying her own professional success, Taurus resolutely remains that great woman behind the man. Like Eve, she seduces her Aries Adam to take bigger bites out of life, offering sensual delight, coaxing him out of his signature spartan ways. She's comfortable atop the pedestal that Aries man seeks to place a woman, happy as a clam or Venus on the half shell to be objectified by her male, something the more "liberated" female signs might shudder to think about. Not her: She doesn't view equality and traditional female role-playing as mutually exclusive. And, of all the men in the zodiac, Aries wants to feel he has that stereotypical male sway. It serves Taurus' purpose just fine to let him believe that's actually the case.


    This couple tends to lead quite separate lives in the light of day, having different tastes in friends and ideas of fun. Sexually, however, divergent needs and desires give rise to connubial perfection.
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Einband Taschenbuch
Seitenzahl 464
Erscheinungsdatum 01.12.2009
Sprache Englisch
ISBN 978-0-307-33796-2
Verlag Harmony Balance Edition
Maße (L/B/H) 23.3/18.7/2.5 cm
Gewicht 771 g
Buch (Taschenbuch, Englisch)
Buch (Taschenbuch, Englisch)
Fr. 29.90
Fr. 29.90
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